#12 Alpaca Farming

For white people who hear the swan song of rural life but lack the thick skin required to run a real farm, raising alapacas does the trick. These South American natives are raised for their fiber.

#11 Auto Leasing

In order to drive more expensive cars than they could otherwise afford, white people resort to leasing new cars. Paying cash for a new car is impossible for most and financing a purchase can require a hefty monthly payment. However, leasing can get the monthly payment down to a manageable level. 0 down and $399 a month for a Mercedes Benz c300? Sign and drive!

#10 Putt Putt

When white people are up for some spirited competition among themselves, they head for the local putt putt course. A miniature version of golf, putt putt condenses that sport and adds obstacles like windmills. The most elaborate courses are located at places where white people vacation like Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg, Tennessee, Estes Park, Colorado and Fort Walton Beach, Florida.

#9 John Deere Memorabilia

To display to the world an affection for things mechanical, some white people love to display the John Deere logo and colors on everything. Clothing, dishes, and even wallpaper borders wear the colors. A small few actually own and operate John Deere equipment, but the majority just like to pretend they do.

#8 Three Car Garages

The three car garage is a necessity for the modern white person. Although white households often own three or more vehicles, usually only one spot houses a car. The remaining space is used for storage and possibly a ping-pong table. The three car garage is a recent development, having replaced the two car garage of the 1980s which replaced the one car carport of the 1950s.

#7 Home Schooling

For white people who trust neither church nor state, home schooling is the only reliable way to educate little ones. The biases and agendas of others can be avoided and children taught when, where and how parents decide. As an added benefit, bullies and pink eye are avoided.

#6 Bed & Breakfasts

For those white people too frail to walk from Maine to Georgia, a bed & breakfast provides a home base for a comforting vacation. Often housed in a private home, guests enjoy them much better than the Days Inn.